I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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