it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
