This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
