hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
