Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
