This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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