why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
