She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
