Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she told me i tasted like america
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
