is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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