There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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