You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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