he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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