just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
