Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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