plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
