My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You just made me feel so damn special
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
