your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
