And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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