i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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