the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
