thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
