I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
