dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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