Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
