I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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