Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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