it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
