im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
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