my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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