You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize