Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
