Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
