I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
