Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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