Pants 0. Shit 1.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
