shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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