This girl is more easily done than said...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
