It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
