this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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