...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
