1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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