he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
