I didn't shave. On purpose
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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