I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
