If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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