I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
