Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
