Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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