oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
