i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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