That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm sobbing to NWA
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize