can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
