is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
