So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I am mentally ready for anal.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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