dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
