Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize