so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
