so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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