yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
