Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
