What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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